


Watching you scream and all I can do is watch.

by orphan_account



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Acid Attack, Angst, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Triggers, set last year instead of Ross being involved it’s Rob
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-13
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-10-27 10:42:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17765267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Robert is involved in a horrendous attack, an Acid Attack. When he wakes up his whole life has changed, how will he cope?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Starting new fics when I need to finish others. 
> 
> Sorry for the confusion! I’ve deleted the second chapter and put it as the first one because it only makes sense to read what happened and then proceed to the hospital.

“ Rob What are you doing? “ Aaron asked Robert with a frown, watching him pat his pockets. 

He sighed heavily. “ Forgot my wallet. “ 

“ You had one job you muppet. “ Aaron mocked. 

“ Well you did distract me didn’t ya? “ Robert smirked towards his husband, he kissed him on the cheek. “ You go and order and I’ll pop back to the Mill. “ he told him. 

Aaron nodded his head and started to walk away when he turned around and shouted out. “ You better be quick or your gonna wear your pint! “ He shouted playfully. 

“ Yeh Yeh. “ He said smiling. 

Him and Aaron were in that domestic, happy phase after their wedding. They laughed and smiled, joked and mocked each other all the time and it honestly felt amazing. Robert smiled to himself, they really have changed and matured over the years, especially last year. He’s glad they were so comfortable with themselves by showing little bit more of PDA. 

Robert didn’t notice the figure standing by a black car, just opposite the Garage and David’s shop, the figure was holding up a bottle of clear liquid. The figure ran towards Robert and sprayed the liquid over the side of Robert’s face, before sprinting off. 

“ AAHHH! “ he screamed. “ AHHH! G-GET OFF! AHHH! “ Robert screamed louder and louder, carrying on screaming in agony, doubling over trying to wipe away the burning liquid off his face. “ GET IT OFF - AH! SOMEONE HELP! “ Robert lay on the floor, legs unable to hold himself up any longer, crying from the agonising pain. 

::::::::::: 

“ Alone I see. “ Chas piped up beside Aaron, seeing her son looking anxious. 

“ Robert’s meant to be here by now - he was only getting his wallet. “ Aaron grumbled, taking a genus gulp of his beer. 

“ Maybe he’s just been sid- is that screaming? “ Chas asked worried. 

“ Aaron! “ Cain rushed to Aaron in the pub looking frantic.  
“ Robert been sprayed with Acid he needs ya! “ 

Aaron’s face goes pale, is this some sort of sick joke? “ what?” He whispers, unable to move. 

“ AARON COME ON! “ He yells at his nephew, Aaron gets out of his trace and legs it out of the Woolpack not noticing everybody’s stunned faces. 

Aaron spots Robert laying on the floor still whining, whimpering, screaming in the back of his throat. Robert was holding his face in agony, beyond that has he felt his skin burn. 

“ Rob... “ he gasped out horrified. 

“ GET THE HOSE PIPE! “ Cain yelled at him, ordered him. 

“ F-from where?! “ He stuttered, still starring at Robert on the floor. 

“ From the garage! Quick! Go! “ Cain yelled at him and Aaron ran to get the hose pipe as fast as he could. “ I’m going to rip your shirt off fast okay?! “ Cain told Robert quick, scared,  
panicked. 

“ Ambulance, Main Street Emmerdale - Acid Attack on face, in lot of pain - I know what I’m doing! “ He disconnected the call from the operator and carried on taking the man’s shirt off. 

“ P-please help me! AARON! HELP ME! “ Robert screamed rolling onto his side. 

Cain ripped open Robert’s shirt as he pulled Robert onto his back. “ I’m going to put water on your face alright? It’s going to help you. “ he told Robert. He got the pipe off Aaron and started washing his face. 

“ AHH! HURTS! “ Robert yelled, trying to move but with Cains grip he was held into place. Aaron was too scared to move, he didn’t want to cause more pain on Robert but wanted to comfort him. 

“ It’s going to help you -good lad Robert - “ Cain told him calming him frantically, as he kept pouring the water onto the man’s burnt face.

“ It’s helping ya Rob - “ Aaron added as well scared, wanting Robert to know he was there. 

::::::::::::: 

“ Male, Robert Sugden, 33, aggressive burns to the face and hand. “ The Male paramedic told the Nurses and Doctors wheeling Robert through the halls of Hotton General.

“ No water on the - “ The Doctor asked then was interrupted by the Paramedic. 

“ On the way here. The man was already giving him water before we arrived. “ he told them professionally. “ - Been given Morphine 20 minutes ago.” 

Aaron found them wheeling Robert in as the paramedics said it’ll be easier if he drove.  
“ Oh my god Robert - “ He gasped out without meaning too. 

“ What? “ Robert replied painfully. 

“ What? Nothing - “ He recovered still in state of shock seeing Robert’s face. 

The Nurses and Doctors rolled Robert onto the metal bed, they told Robert they will be putting water onto his face gently. 

“ God - I need more painkillers!” Robert groaned in discomfort. 

“ We have already giving you all we can for now. “ The female nurse told him, still applying water to his face. 

“ W-What happened? “ Aaron asked horrified. 

“ S-Someone threw Acid in my face. “ He pushed out. 

“ W-Why? “ Aaron responded quietly, confused. 

“ I don’t know Aaron! “ Robert shouted at him, Aaron gulped down the lump formed in his throat just feeling so helpless. 

“ i need more! You’ve got loads!” Robert pushed out through the pain again, wincing. 

Aaron stood more nearer to his distressed husband. “ Just calm down Rob. “ he told him, he tried, feeling out of place. 

“ My face is burning! “ he breathed out agonising. “ W-Why did they do it do me? “ he mumbled. 

Aaron could tell Robert wasn’t taking in what people were saying, the pain obviously taking all the concentration. He was grabbing his own leg as comfort, gripping his thigh with so much pressure his knuckles went white. 

“ Just try to stay nice and calm for me. “ The nurse asked him encouraging, trying to get the angle of Robert’s burnt face to apply more water. 

The doctor walked into the room, he stated talking to Robert firmly. “ Robert you have had a substance on your face which we are trying to dilute off your skin - we are pleased it has not affected your eyes or throat - “ 

“ Please I need more Morphine.” Robert pushed out painfully. 

“ He can’t have anymore. “ The nurse told the doctor, taking a glance at him. 

“ can you help him! He’s in pain!” Aaron shouted beside the Doctor. Why can’t they give Robert more painkillers? He is obviously in a lot of pain! 

::::::::::::: 

The Nurses finished applying water to Robert’s face and they had put bandages onto the burns. The Doctor said they needed to do this or the skin will get infected and be in high risk of blood poisoning. Robert was asleep, physically, mentally and emotionally drained from the traumatic night. 

:::::::::::::::::: 

Aaron can still hear his husbands painful screams of agony in his mind, plastered there forever - to painful to forget the horror that waited. Aaron remembers Robert rolling from side to side on the ground, screaming to get the liquid off his face, how he looked petrified.

‘ AARON! HELP ME! GET IT OFF! AARON! ‘

Aaron sat next to Roberts bedside, itching to touch his hand, itching to hold his husbands hand but unable too. 

The bandages wrapped around his hand stopping him.  
Aaron looks at Robert’s face, tears come to his eyes again seeing half of his beautiful face covered in bandages.

He can remember what the doctors said to him when Robert was brought in. Acid Attack and it was so fatal it was a miracle it didn’t make Robert blind. Aaron remembers how Robert was crying when the Nurses washed off the substances of his face, it looked painful, angry, red, his skin looked burnt.  
It was.

‘ it hurts, make it stop - please ‘

Aaron sighs, Chas and Liv waiting outside, Aaron wanted to tell Robert what happened when he was awake without feeling crowded.

Robert isn’t going to cope with this dramatic life changing situation.

Robert’s hand twitches and Aaron bolts up, he smiles when Robert looks at him. “ Hey, hey your alright. “ he reassures, his heart breaking.

“ What happened? “ Robert asks, voice cracking. “ W-whats on my face? “ he asks scared, touches the bandages but has Aaron gently take away his hand.

Aaron takes in a deep breath, he wants to run away, hide, can’t tell Robert he’s never going to be the same after this.

“ After What? “ Robert asks scared, voice small, fearful. “ Aaron tell me, after what? “ his voice so so small, scared, on edge.

Aaron mentally kicks himself, he shouldn’t of said it out loud.  
“ You were involved in a Acid Attack Rob. “ he starts, voice breaks, pity.

“ An acid attack? “ he whispers horrified, how can he be involved in something like this? It doesn’t seem real.

“ Someone threw acid in your face, some of the liquid went on your hand. “ Aaron tells him, he is on the verge of tears.

“ B-but I’m okay though. “ Robert asks him, fake hope.  
“- Aaron tell me I’m going to be okay! “ panicking now lacing his beautiful features.

“ I’m so sorry rob. “ He cries, he can’t do this. “ Your scarred for life. “

“ No. no, no. “ Robert too shocked, denial. “ They can do something about it - can’t they!” Robert pleads, desperately for Aaron to tell him everything is okay, that he will be back to ‘ normal ‘ again.

But -

“ They tried everything they could - “

“ Get out. “ Robert tells him, emotionless.

“ Robert - “

“ GET OUT. “ Robert yells at him and Aaron does. Robert breaks down in his hospital bed, cries and cries and cries.

How can this happening? Only the other day he was at his happiest and now - and now he’s scarred for life? A consistent reminder of what happened to him? He’s going to look disfigured, he’s going to horrendous. What if Aaron leaves him? Oh my god Seb, he’s going to be terrified of him.  
He’s scarred for life and he’s never felt so broken in his life.

Aaron watches through the small window of Robert’s room, watches how his husband breaks down into pain wrenching sobs.

Aaron has never felt so helpless in his life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any mistakes!

The next day, Robert woke up for a second he forgot about his face and it stung when he accidentally put pressure onto it. He sighed, looking at his bandaged hand, how could this be happening to him? 

“ Hi, “ Aaron smiled weakly, walking in Robert’s hospital room holding a cup of coffee. He looked tired and nervous. 

“ hey, “ He replied as he nodded mumbled. He stared at his hand flexing his fingers but they barely moved. 

Aaron sat down next to his husband, watching him be so quite. “ You okay? “ 

Robert shrugged his shoulders in response of Aaron’s question. He looked up wondering something, his eyebrows went down and frowned. “ Why didn’t the Doctor tell me what you told me yesterday? “ He asked confused. 

Aaron’s face changed to pity, sympathetic. “ He did Rob, you were too out of it from the pain. I suggested to tell you again because the Doctor could tell you weren’t listening. “ he told him sadly, gently. 

“ oh. “ 

They were quite for few minutes till Aaron asked quietly, slightly awkward. “ How’s the - “ Aaron wondered off, pointing to the bandages with his head. 

“ Dull aches, stings, hurts. “ Robert lists off quietly. 

“ Do- Do you know who did this to you? “ Aaron asked quietly, deciding to put his hand on Robert’s thigh as some sort of comfort. 

“ No. All I know is that i was walking down to the Mill and then the next thing I know I was splashed with burning liquid. “ Robert told him vulnerable, nearly bitter. 

“ I could kill them for what they’ve done to you. “ Aaron commented angry. He kept quite when Robert just ignored him, kept looking down at his hands. 

“ Hiya love, “ Chas’s fake cheerful voice filled the room, her smile sliding off her face as she saw Robert’s but she forced one on hers again. “ How are you love? “ she asked gently to Robert. 

“ Fine. “ he grumbled. 

She shared a concerned glanced at Aaron, this is going to be a long road to recovery they both thought. 

“ Where’s Liv? “ Aaron asked his mum. 

“ Probably hiding from the disfigured man. “ Robert mumbled bitterly. 

“ Rob your not disfigured. “ Aaron told him reassuring, Robert scoffed, Chas looked like she wanted to say something but chose not too, not used to this cocky, confident man reduced to this quite, talking terrible about himself. 

“ Just outside Love, getting a cup of tea - speaking of the devil. “ Chas smiled playfully when Liv walked in and instantly looked shocked at the bandages covering half of Robert’s face. Not used to this at all. There were tears building up in her eyes. 

“ Hi Rob. “ Liv smiled softly, sitting on the armchair of Aaron’s seat. 

“ Hey, “ he forced out, still looking down at his hands not wanting anyone to see, but it was impossible, the bandages too layered to hide. 

“ how are you? “ The younger girl asked fake cheerfully. 

Absolutely fine! It’s not like half of my fucking face is burnt off.   
“ Yeh fine. “ he told her instead of what he actually wanted to say. 

“ Do you - “ Chas was about to ask when Robert interrupted her with angrily. 

“ you really want to know? Do you! “ he shouts at the stunned family. “ I get acid thrown in my face - fucking Acid! and feel my fucking skin burn to a crisp! I endure the agony of it, get wrapped up in bandages! I can barley speak because how tight my skin feels, it aches and throbs all fucking day long and you’re asking me how I am? Well I’ve been fucking better actually.” He stops talking, voice going dry and raw from the lack of fluids. He ignores Aaron trying calm him down, ignores the upset face on Liv and Chas’s guilty face. He can’t stop shouting now, now that he’s started. “ Do you want to know another thing? Why the fuck has this happened to me? Why - “ 

“ Mr Sugden - is this the right time? “ The police officer interrupts mid rant from Robert. The officer sees everyone’s stunned, upset expressions. 

“ When is not the right time. “ Robert grumbles. 

“ Can you leave it for while? “ Chas asks, seeing how distressed Robert currently is. 

The officer at least looks guilty herself. “ It is best to talk about the incident now when the memories are still there. “ 

“ Fine - “ Robert snaps, he hates how he’s taking it out on everyone but his anger needs an outlet. He just wants to hide away from everyone, wants last events to disappear from his memory. He wants to rip his brain out. 

“ Do you want us to stay? “ Aaron asks quietly. 

“ I just - just you. “ Robert mumbles back, tries to grab Aaron’s hand but unable too. He sighs, the weight on his chest becomes heaver. 

Liv and Chas smile awkwardly as they leave the room, saying they will be back later. 

“ How are you coping Mr Sugden? “ She asks politely. 

“ Fine. “ What is he supposed to say? He doesn’t feel anything but pain and anger. 

“ Last night you were the victim of an Acid Attack I’m I correct?” A nod off Robert. “ Have you had any encounters from anyone? Had an argument with any individuals? “ She asks professionally - she’s used to this type of setting by now. 

Robert shakes his head. “ No, I haven’t had any arguments. “ 

“ Maybe not recently but set few months back maybe? Maybe you had any bad interactions last year? “

Robert frowns. “ No. Not any. “ 

She sighs quietly. “ Tell me what happened last night Mr Sugden.” 

Robert gulps hard, eyes instantly filling up with tears. 

‘ HELP! IT HURTS! AARON! ‘ 

His own screams flashing through his mind, it’s like his own torture. “ I - I was going to the Woolpack - “ He starts quietly, seeing the female officer write down, Aaron squeezes Robert’s arm for comfort, encouragement. “ With my h-husband - “ 

“ I’m guessing that’s your husband? “ She quizzes, pointing the tip of her pen towards Aaron, when they nod she smiles at Robert to proceed his story. 

“ I had to go back home to fetch my wallet. I was walking down the road, “ he breaths out deeply, heart hammering out of his chest. “ - then the next thing I knew there was movement and I was splashed with acid. “ he tells her quietly, nearly on the verge of crying. 

“ You didn’t get a sensation of someone there? “ she asks confused. 

Robert shakes his head. “ no. “ 

“ Where were you Aaron? “ She asks the brunette man. 

“ I was in the Woolpack - “ 

“ You didn’t want to go with Robert? “ She questions. 

Aaron frowned, feeling like he’s getting accused. “ Robert doesn’t need two people to fetch a wallet. “ He tells her sarcastically. 

“ Who were you with? “ She asks him, pushes for an answer. 

“ W-with my mum. “ He answers, not liking how he’s getting accused or suspected. 

She nods her head. “ Mr Sugden, who found you? “ 

“ Cain - Cain Dingle. “ Robert stammers out. 

“ What time did the attack happen? “ She asks, looking up from her notepad. 

“ Err, around 20:00. “ 

“ okay, I think that’s all for now. If we need any more information I’ll be in touch. Get well Mr Sugden. “ She smiles before leaving the room. 

Aaron looks at Robert with an angry face, he huffed. “ She thinks I did it! “ he exclaims. 

“ Why do you think that? “ Robert asks confused. 

“ J-just how she looked at me! And the questions! “ 

Robert sighs. “ Aaron it’ll be fine, you can’t go off on one or she might make more of a opinion on ya. “ he sees the look on Aaron’s face. “ Not that you did like. “ he adds tiredly. “ I’m going to sleep. “ Robert announces suddenly, he can’t cope with everyone seeing him like this, he just wants the pain to fade away. He goes on his side, back facing Aaron. 

“ Do you want me to go? “ Aaron asks awkwardly. 

“ You can go if you want. “ Robert grumbles, smiles a bit when Aaron kisses his forehead, doesn’t see the hurt and concern in Aaron’s face when he stands there watching him before leaving. 

Robert doesn’t mean to push people away, especially Aaron, but he can’t cope with the pitying looks anymore! 

‘ AHHHH! ‘ the last thing Robert hears is his screams. 

:::::::::::: 

“ Oh Rob - “ Victoria’s soft, small voice came into the room. She walked over to her big brother and give him a hug. She looked hurt and frowned when he didn’t respond to her. “ How are you? “ She asked quietly. 

He shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t feel anything, he just kept pressing the medication button. He wanted to feel numb, he wanted to get rid of the memories, he wanted to the pain to go away. 

He wanted everything to stop. 

“ Do you know who did this to you Rob? “ She asked quietly. 

He shook his head. 

“ Where’s Aaron? “ Victoria asked not noticing his presence. 

“ Cafe. “ he choked out. 

“ Is he getting you anything? “ Victoria asked, feeling awkward. She doesn’t know what to do, her brothers just so quite, so vulnerable, it wasn’t like this when he was shot. 

“ Hi. “ Aaron smiled at his sister in law, he put down his cup of tea, and few chocolate bars plus smocked ham sandwich, and tuna + cucumber butty. 

“ Hiya, have the police been around yet? “ She asked her brother in law. 

“ Yeh they have, yesterday. Asked load of questions and be’ll coming round again if they need anything else. Meaning, statements. “ he grumbled, he wants that to wait for now, Robert isn’t in a good place. 

Can’t they see that? 

“ I-just don’t get it though, “ She shakes her head. “ why would someone do this to him? “ She asked like Robert wasn’t in the room, when really he was right in front of her. 

“ Some sort of sicko. “ Aaron responded angrily. 

“ Hello, Mr Sugden! How are you today? “ one of the nurses beamed as she came through the door. “ Oh hello, new visitor I see. “ the nurse smiled. 

“ I’m his sister. “ Victoria smiled politely. “ Even when I regret being his sister. “ She laughs. 

The nurse nodded as she got the new bandages unwrapped. “ Right, Robert I’m going to get your old bandages off now - “ 

“ No, “ He refused. 

She frowned slightly. “ Robert we need to change them or they’ll get infected. “ she argued with a calm tone. 

“ not when they’re here. “ Robert said, meaning Aaron and Victoria they looked stung. 

Aaron started. “ Rob it’s alright -“ 

“ Nothing to be ashamed of - “ Victoria finished but the nurse interrupted them both. 

“ I think it would benefit Robert if he felt comfortable, he really does need these changing. If you could leave, it will only take 10 to 15 minutes. “ She smiled at them, as they reluctantly got up and left Robert’s room. 

“ Why - “ 

“ Vic, Robs still getting used to it isn’t he? I just want what’s best for him, if he feels more comfortable without us in there that’s fine. “ Aaron shut her up. 

But it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt Aaron when his own husband doesn’t want him around. 

:::::::::::: 

On the fourth day Cain came to visit. He walked into the room and looked bit shocked at how Robert looked. 

“ Err - “ he clears his throat awkwardly. “ H-how are you? “ 

Robert shrugs his shoulders silently, keeps playing with the loose thread of the thin blanket. 

Cain looks at Aaron walk into the room, he nods his head at his Nephew. “ I would’ve came earlier but I just - wanted to leave you for bit. “ he grumbled out, talking about feelings wasn’t his strongest point, especially when Robert didn’t communicate at all. Cain was used to the cocky, mouthed sod who would say what he wanted when he wanted but this? This Robert was seemed so.... uncomfortably quite, almost like he’s given up was strange. 

“ Moria is asking ‘bout ya- the whole Dingles are - “ he stops talking, he is at a loss. 

“ Thanks Cain. “ Aaron pipes in, seeing his Uncles struggle to talk. “ Tell them thanks. “ 

Cain nods his head slowly.   
“ Aaron can I have a word? “ he doesn’t ask, he orders. 

Aaron gets up before telling his husband he’ll be right back and a quick kiss to the forehead. 

“ What? “ Aaron says, risking a glance through the window. 

“ He’s not okay. “ Cain says it bluntly. 

“ I know. “ Aaron speaks sadly. 

“ I-I’ve never seen him like this - like he’s given up almost. “ Cain pushes out shocked, surprised, can’t get his head around it.  
“ He needs ya. “ 

Aaron frowns. “ Obviously I’m his husband. Where else would I be? “ he spits out. 

“ I mean, when he’s like this - you don’t know what’s going through his ‘ead. “ he tells his nephew. Aaron’s eyes widen slightly, he gulps hard and shifts a bit. “ Keep an eye on him yeh?” He tells him nearly softly, but that’s the most soft you’ll ever get. Cain leaves, saying he needs to go back to Issac, leaving Aaron scared of what his husband is thinking about. 

::::::::::: 

It had been 4 weeks since the attack, and Robert was withdrawn - only speaking when he needed too. Aaron tried talking to him, telling him the daily Village updates and how Seb is missing his dad. Robert let out a small cry when his husband told him that. He won’t be missing me when he sees my disfigured face, Robert thinks bitterly to himself.

Aaron asked the Nurses if Robert was depressed, because Robert kept crying, being distant, having angry outbursts, irritated, saying how ugly and hideous he looked. The nurse didn’t help Aaron when she said victims of traumatic attacks can develop mental health disorders. 

Aaron went back into Robert’s room and forced a smile. He hated how Robert sat on the hospital bed emotionless. 

‘ HELP! Robert it, GET IT OFF! AARON HELP ME! ‘ the memories swirling around Robert’s mind once again. They keep going on and on, it’s like they are stuck on repeat louder and quieter. 

“ Doctors are going to change your bandages today, isn’t that better eh? Nice ‘n’ clean, - “ Aaron talked to Robert but he hated how he was talking at him. Robert’s face blank.   
“ - Rob talk to me, I miss your voice - how soppy is that eh? Your husband missing your voice. I even miss how your grumpy old grampa self. “ Aaron chuckled softly, smiling a tad, his expression changed to desperate, pleading even when Robert didn’t even upturn his mouth at the playful insult.   
“ talk to me Rob, “ he pleaded. 

“ What would you want me to say? “ Robert answered, voice raw from not talking. Who knew not talking can have the same effect as screaming from the top of your lungs? 

“ Anything Robert. “ Aaron responded back softly. 

“ When can Seb come along? “ He asked quietly. 

He had been asking for weeks for his little boy to come to the hospital, but his request kept getting refused. Rebecca would say no, out of the question because it’ll be too much for him. She even went as far as Seb would get scared of Robert, but Aaron didn’t tell Robert that, it would break him - seeing how fragile he already is. 

“ maybe not today, he’s in Nursery - “ 

“ You’ve been saying that for weeks now. “ Robert told him quietly, he seemed so low.   
“ Rebecca doesn’t want him to see me ‘cause I’d scare him. “ he knows deep down, can see through the lies. 

Aaron sighed, he hates lying to Robert. “ Rebecca’s just protective over him. “ 

“ Anyone would be - seeing me like this I would look like a monster. “ Robert told Aaron, just above a whisper, his eyes glistening. 

Aaron shook his head frantically. “ No! No, Rob. Not a monster - you don’t look anything like it. “ he told Robert in denial, his own eyes filling with tears. 

“ Missed his birthday? “ Robert suddenly asked he sounded worried. 

Aaron frowned, he didn’t know why Robert suddenly blurted that out, also noticing how Robert missed out few words.  
“ Yeh Rob It was on the 9th, don’t you remember? “ he asked concerned. 

“ I don’t remember you saying?” He asked quietly. 

Aaron remembered that day, he told Robert but he was too stuck in his head. He only stared at his hands, only blinking, like he didn’t notice Aaron talking to him. 

Again. 

“ I don’t think you heard me. “ Aaron lied, it felt heavy on his tongue. 

“ Did you say happy birthday to him? And from me? “ Robert asked he tried to sound cheerful but it was so forced that Aaron could actually cry. Robert looked at him for the first time in recent weeks, Aaron held in the gasp when Robert had bags under his eyes, he was pale, face thinner, hair little longer/messier. Aaron saw the one thing that shocked him, Robert’s eyes, they looked so dull, the shine they used to have vanished, it looks like the light has been switched off. 

“ Yeh I did, and I said Daddy said happy birthday as well. He looked dead happy, but don’t think he understood. “ Aaron forced a smile onto his face. 

“ He’s 1 now. “ Robert whispered with a weak smile, eyes filling up with tears again. 

“ I’m tired now. “ Robert suddenly said, turning onto his side forcing Aaron to get off the side of the bed. Aaron watched how his husband curled into a small ball, it almost seemed bizarre how his tall Robert could make himself look so tiny. 

:::::::::::::: 

Aaron stepped out of Robert’s room when he was asleep, not wanting to wake him up considering this is the first night in - little over - in a month he’s not had a nightmare. 

“ Love, you need to come home and have a proper sleep. “ Chas told Aaron through the phone, every attempt she made was unsuccessful. 

“ No I can’t leave Robert. He’s been having really bad nightmares mum, he’s been low if you haven’t noticed..” Aaron told her annoyed that his mum could even think of leaving his husband alone. 

She tutted. “ Of course I’ve noticed love, he’s worrying me as well you know! But it’s been a month, you haven’t left that hospital once! You need to go back home, Liv misses ya. “ 

Aaron sighs, he feels like a terrible brother, hardly seeing her but Robert is main priority right now. Meaning, he hasn’t been to work at all, but Cain said he’s gotten it sorted. That’s another thing, Cain has been asking about Robert more, he’s more worried about him, that makes Aaron more happy with the extra support. 

“ Fine, but I can’t just leave Rob- “ 

“ leave him a note then. “ She said easily. 

Aaron sighed, knowing he needs to listen to his mum or she’ll probably drive to the hospital herself and dragged him out of it. “ I’ll go home. “ he said eventually. 

“ good, I’ll tell Liv. He’ll be there tomorrow love. “ She said reassuring, she hung up afterwards saying her goodbyes. 

Aaron walked back into Robert’s room and sighed softly. He looked so peaceful when he was sleeping, his mouth open a tiny bit, letting out soft little snores like a piglet - even when it drives Aaron mad Robert’s his little snoring piglet. 

Aaron walked quietly to his sleeping husband and gently kissed him on the forehead. He hates the attacker for doing this to Robert, and if he finds out who it is they wouldn’t be worth living. 

“ night Rob, love you. “ he whispered, smiling a bit when Robert shifted. He left a note on the hospital bedside table, to let him know where Aaron was if he woke up. 

::::::::::::::

“ No, no, no, don’t, please don’t, I’m sorry, NO! “ Robert bolted up, sweating like mad, his shirt that wet it cling to him. His hair was mattered to his head as well. Robert was breathing heavily, catching his breath. He looked around and saw no Aaron, he should’ve known- Aaron was always there. 

He saw the note on the table and smiled weakly, he loves Aaron so much. He needs him, but he can’t hassle him, not when he’s a pathetic victim- Robert thinks to himself. 

He lies back down terrified of sleeping again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Medical information may be wrong, I couldn’t find any details about how long skin grafts take, sorry for incorrect information.

“ Hello Mr Sugden, as you’ve been here for 2 months and your burns have healed more so as we thought. You would need to have a skin graft. Do you know what that is? “ The female doctor asked Robert, waiting for him to understand the information she’s just told. 

“ Yeh. “ He replied quietly. 

She nodded her head. “ We would need to book you in a weeks time, only if you want to have it Robert. “ She smiled softly. 

Again Robert nodded his head quietly, it was like he wasn’t actually here. Mentally. 

“ Where would you get the skin from? “ Aaron asked her, piping up when Robert wasn’t going to say anything. 

“ We would get the fattest skin where it would heal fastest. The neck, behind the ear, the upper arm or groan. It would leave scarring, and heal over few weeks. “ 

“ Would it help the healing process on his face? “ Aaron required, the corner of his eye he saw Robert carrying on looking at his hands. 

“ Yes, the skin on his cheek has been significantly damaged and we need to add skin there. “ She told Aaron firmly. 

“ Will the operation work? “ Aaron asked for the both of them. 

“ In some rare cases no, but the chances are very high when it is successful. Robert does need the operation because parts of his skin is not healing fast enough. “ 

“ Right okay, when will it be? “ Aaron asked. 

“ I will book it next week but we just need to do some tests on Robert’s burns to see if it’s 100 percent okay to carry through. Meaning, he’ll have to wait 5 to 7 days. “ She smiled softly and left the room when her beeper beeped. 

Aaron looked over at his husband and saw that he was in his own world again. “ Rob.. “ He gently shook his arm till Robert looked at him tiredly.   
“ Are you okay? That’s good init? Getting a skin graft to help ya make. “ he smiled. 

“ Yeh. “ Robert barely whispered. 

How can it be good? He’s going to have another scar on his body, a massive line from where his skin has been taken off. He’s going to look even more hideous than he already was! What’s the point? He wished he died anyway, so he wouldn’t have to suffer through this turmoil. 

::::::::::::::::::: 

The operation went well. The Doctors were very pleased about this, but Robert couldn’t talk for a week or so because he would stretch the skin and may cause more damage. Aaron and Victoria were feeling even more uncomfortable because the silence was unbearable now. Robert wasn’t talking before but now he can’t at all, only communicating with the White board but he didn’t even use that. 

:::::::::::::::: 

“ Robert, as the skin graft has worked successfully we can discharge you from the hospital.” The Doctor looked pleased, so did Aaron he looked so relieved, he held Robert’s hand tighter. But Robert kept a blank expression, thinking how can he be happy? He has a consistent reminder of that traumatic experience, his skin still stings, burns and aches. The strong medication not doing its job properly, but he can’t say anything can he? He’s already caused so much hassle on everyone he can’t be more pathetic can he? 

The female doctor carried on, not saying anything about Robert’s body language, she put it as shock. “ - You still need to wear a thin badged on your face, and need do apply antibiotic cream to the face every day. “ she told him strictly. “ You can do that at home, now your skin is healing well enough. You can leave tomorrow. “ She smiled as she left. 

‘ No. No he’s not pleased. How can he be pleased to go back to the village where he was attacked? Everyone will be staring at him, giving him pitying looks. Oh no. Aaron has to see his hideous face. He’s going to leave Robert, maybe he’s better off anyway. Who in their right minds would want to stay with a disgusting, disfigured man? ‘ the thoughts swirling around Robert’s mind. 

“ I’m so pleased you can come home Robert! “ Aaron beamed, he hugged Robert cannot contain himself any longer.   
“ Aren’t you excited? “ he sounded hurt when Robert made no attempt to even look remotely happy. 

“ Yeh I am. “ he replied emotionless. “ You best get the Mill sorted for me then. “ he forced a smile to his face as Aaron looked brighter. Aaron gently kissed Robert’s forehead as he told him he needs to clean the Mill. 

Robert watched him go with a sad smile on his face. 

I just want to disappear. 

:::::::::::::

 

“ Rob? You okay? “ Aaron asked his husband when he was just staring into nothing.

“ fine. “ He grumbled back. This is the first time he has actually spoken to Aaron, he’s both pleased and bit surprised. 

Yeh, I’m fine with a burnt face and hand, yeh, perfectly fucking fine. 

Aaron looked down to his hands, he was playing with his wedding ring again. He found it was a really good comfort over these past few months.   
Aaron has been feeling so helpless, watching Robert cry, rant, withdraw and he can’t do anything about it. How can he? Robert’s life has changed sufficiently, he has to get used to this new appearance that will always be there. What can Aaron do? Be there and talk about being positive? How? How can you be positive when your skin has been burnt off?

“ Are you happy your coming home? “ Aaron asked cheerful, trying to lighten the mood. He watches as Robert carries on staring in the mirror. Robert has the thin bandage on his face now, you can see half of the burnt skin. He hates it. 

No. “ Yes. “

Aaron sighs heavily and gets up from his chair, he walks over to Robert and touches his arm but gets pushed off. “ Robert - “ He starts sounding hurt.

Robert sighs softly, he turns to look at his husband with guilt written all over his face. “ I’m sorry Alright. It’s just - this. “ He points to his face with disgust.

“ Rob, you don’t think I find you less attractive do you? “

“ Yeh, I look hideous, disgusting, disfigured. You have to walk around with this ugly mess - “

“ Don’t you fucking dare finish, you are wrong. I love you, I find you still attractive and fit. You are still my gorgeous husband. “ Aaron tells him firmly yet soft, he smiles gently.

Robert blinks back tears. “ No, I don’t at all. Seb’s scared of me, Liv can’t look at me, Chas and Victoria always look at me with pity, Paddy just stares and then gets flustered. I hate it. I hate that man for what he’s done, I hate me. “ Robert rants bitterly, feelings his emotions come all over the place again.

He can’t cry again in front of Aaron.

“ Seb isn’t scared of ya, he’s just not used to this type of change is he? He’ll get used to it Rob, “ Aaron tries to assure Robert but feels like he is doing a crap job of it.

Robert scoffs. “ You honestly say he’ll get used to this? “ He tells him firmly, pointing at his left side of his face. The angry red burns covering his side, how the skin looks bumpy.

Aaron swallows down the lump formed in his throat. “ yeh, and everyone else will get used to it Rob. “ He tells him with a soft smile but slips off his face when Robert ignores him, he just looks so so sad.

He puts on the over sized hoodie and yanks the hood over his head to cover his face, he walks out with his head hung low, facing the floor as Aaron walks beside him itching to touch him but choices not too. 

Robert might not appreciate it right now.


	4. Chapter 4

The journey back to Emmerdale was silent. They did not speak, well, Aaron made small talk to ease the uncomfortable and awkwardness, but Robert stared out through the window stuck in his own head. When they eventually made it back home, Robert jumped out of the car and heading straight to the door, his head hung low as his hood was well covering his face. 

“ Robert! You’re back, I missed you! “ Liv shouted in excitement as she ran to her brother. She hugged him tightly, not noticing his uncomfortably body language because she was too happy for him to be home. 

Robert clears his throat, he internally pleads for Liv not to see his face. 

To see how ugly he looks now. 

“ I missed you too kiddo. “ Robert tells her quietly, it feels forced the cheerful voice when honestly he feels far from being happy. 

Aaron walks into the Mill and instantly smiles when he sees the two precious people in his life hugging each other. 

“ When’s the bandages coming off? “ Liv asks when she pulled away. 

Robert tensions. “ I - Err the Doctors said in another month or two. “ he stumbles out. 

He doesn’t want them off at all. Everyone can see the whole of his ugly face then, at least the thin bandage he currently has is covering most of it. 

“ That’s good isn’t it? “ Aaron pipes in with a small smile. He wants Robert to be happy again, but there’s a nagging voice in his head, telling him that it won’t just go back to being ‘ okay’. 

Robert hums along avoiding their eyes watching him, it feels like their stares our burning into him and suddenly he feels that acid burning into his skin and he nee- 

“ Rob you’re not allowed to drink with your strong medication. “ Aaron tells him worriedly. 

Robert shrugs his shoulders as he carries on drinking the can. Liv looks concerned sharing a glance at Aaron. She makes an excuse to leave this situation because Aaron and Robert need some time to chat. 

When Liv has gone, Aaron walks up to his husband beside him and places a hand on his arm notices how he tenses again.   
“ Rob are you sure your okay? “ 

Robert is really sick of hearing that fucking word. 

“ Yep. “ Robert tells him coldly. 

Aaron sighs. “ You need to talk to me, you can’t push me out you know? “ 

Robert sighs heavily again.   
“ Right. “ 

“ I haven’t properly seen your face since the old bandages were taken off. “ Aaron tries. 

“ Good. “ Robert grumbles, he walks away from Aaron to go to the stairs. All this is his fault, this has happened to him because he is a terrible person and deserves to be punished for what he’s done. 

“ Rob - please just don’t shut me out. “ Aaron pleads, he holds Robert’s hand loosely, he looks so desperate for his husband to tell him he’s okay but really? Robert looks far from okay, Aaron considers bringing up about the therapy again because the first time Robert straight up refused. 

“ I won’t. “ Robert whispers and lets go of Aaron’s hand. 

It feels so final, it felt like Aaron was loosing his husband from just letting go of their joined hands. 

Aaron’s at a loss. He doesn’t know how to help his husband at all.   
::::::::: 

“ I’m thinking about having a take out for dinner? “ Aaron asks his husband when he walks back down the stairs. Robert had a bath, he got annoyed when Aaron told him he can’t because he might accidentally soak his bandages. He shut the bathroom door in Aaron’s face. 

Robert collapses onto the sofa, his hood thrown over his head as he stares aimlessly at the tv.   
He doesn’t want to talk, he just wants to be left alone. Robert knows Aaron is trying to help, he knows that Aaron is out of his depth but Robert just wants to isolate himself.

He needs to push anyone away so it won’t hurt anyone even more. 

Aaron walks to the front door hearing someone knock and Victoria bursts in as she bolts straight to her brother. “ Rob, I’m so glad your back. “ She tells him sounding so relieved. 

How can his sister be happy to see him? Doesn’t she feel embarrassed to call him her brother when you look at his disgusting face? 

“ Thanks. “ he mumbles. 

“ How does it feel? “ She asks him curiously, her eyes only seeing his nose and lips. 

Robert shrugs his shoulders, he hates how she’s so close to him. He feels anxious about where Aaron is, then he hears the kettle brewing - he’s in the kitchen. 

“ Stings, aches, hurts. “ Robert lists off emotionless. 

“ Can I see them? “ She asks hesitantly. Aaron’s eyes widen when he walks over to them holding the cups of tea. 

Robert gulps hard before breathing heavily and slowly, ever so slowly, taking down his hoodie. He shuts his eyes not wanting to see her face. 

Victoria looks shocked, you can see some of the burns from his eyebrow, and his ear some of his neck but his cheek is covered from the bandage. She notes how the skin is red, how his skin is bumpy, crinkled and just looks deeply burnt. Victoria’s shocked expression reflects on Aaron’s face, he hasn’t properly seen it thus close before. When Robert opens his eyes he sees their shocked and pity expressions and yanks his hood over his head again, he hates those looks of them. 

“ How did the skin graft go? “ Victoria asks, changing the topic noticing her brothers withdrawn body language. 

“ Fine. “ He grumbles back, he takes a sip of his tea. 

‘ HELP! ‘ 

He flinches suddenly hearing his shouts, he hates those flashbacks. 

“ Rob? “ Victoria asks quietly seeing her brother flinch that made Aaron and her jump. 

“ Nothing. “ Robert just says, not wanting to talk about that night. 

“ The Doctors were pleased by the process, weren’t they Rob? “ Aaron asks him with a small smile, wanting Robert to talk a bit more but all he gets is a nod. 

“ There’re nearly healed then? “ Vic comments. 

Aaron nods his head as he gulps his tea down. “ The Doctors say so.. “ 

She smiles weakly. “ Everyone has been askin’ about you Rob, they’re all dead worried about you. “ 

“ Really? “ His voice off, he doesn’t believe that for one second. Why would any of them feel sorrowful for a waste of so e who deserves this? 

“ I’ve been keeping them all updated and they are pleased your out of hospital. “ Victoria smiles encouragingly. 

What! “ What? “ No. No. 

She looks nervous by his tone, so does Aaron. “ They’re pleased that your out of hospital. “ Aaron repeats for Vic. 

“ Why did you do that? T-they gonna be gossiping about me! They - they’re gonna want to speak to me and - “ he can’t breathe, his throat closing in on him as he struggles to breathe. 

“ Rob... Robert just breathe for us okay? “ Aaron soothes his husband. It takes nearly 5 minutes to get Robert out of his panic attack and he looks even more exhausted. 

“ I-I’m Sorry. “ Robert gasps out still catching his breath. 

“ You have nothing to be sorry for Rob, “ Aaron reassures him. 

“ Aaron’s right Robert, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up, “ Victoria looks beyond guilty. 

“ I-it’s fine. “ He stumbles out. 

“ What about if you go to bed? You must be tired. “ Aaron makes up an excuse, he wants his husband safe. Robert nods his head slowly as he gets up to go to their bedroom. Robert’s movements are slowly and steady as he is out of sight Victoria starts to silently cry, Aaron hugs her tightly holding back his own bottling emotions. 

“ He-he’s broken! “ she cries out. 

“ I know, I know, I hate seeing him like this as well. “ Aaron tells her quietly, it physically aches Aaron seeing his husband so low and whatever Aaron tries to do can never be enough. 

“ It’s like hes totally given up! “ She cries louder against Aaron’s chest. 

Robert watches them grieve, he hates how he has done this to the most special people in his life. All this is his fault. 

::::::::: 

“ Wheres Rob? “ Liv asks when she gets back in, she spend the few hours with Gabby till she got a text to come back home for her tea. 

Aaron sighs, not at her but just in general. “ Upstairs. He hasn’t left our bedroom since 14:00. “ 

“ He hasn’t left in 4 hours?! Is he okay? “ 

Aaron carries on cutting their pizzas as he puts Liv’s slices into the plate. “ Last time I checked he was asleep. “ 

Liv looks down and suddenly looks a lot more younger than he actual age. “ He’s not okay is he? “ she comments quietly. 

Aaron blinks back tears. “ No, no he isn’t okay. But he’s got us and we need to be there for him.” Aaron tells her strongly. 

“ Of course we will, we’re his family! “ 

“ I know that Liv. “ Aaron says heavily. 

“ Is he coming down to eat? “ She asks. 

Aaron shrugs his shoulders, he takes a plate with the pizza on and walks to the stairs.   
“ Probably not, but I’m going bring this up for him. “ he tells her softly. 

“ tell him I love him yeh? “ Liv mumbles, Aaron smiles at her warmly as he carries on walking up to their bedroom. 

Aaron pushes the door open with his shoulder, he sees the slight bump in the covers and the blonde messy mass of hair. Aaron smiles softly, he places the plate onto his bedside table and sneaks in the bed beside his sleeping husband. 

“ Rob, Robert. Wake up, “ Aaron gently shakes Robert till he wakes up with a groan. 

“ What? “ He grumbles, voice full of sleep. He pulls the cover over his face to hide it, he ignores Aaron’s tut. 

“ I brought you dinner. “ Aaron replies simply. 

“ I’m not hungry. “ 

“ Tough. You need to eat Rob. “ Aaron tells him firmly. Robert reluctantly pushes himself up as Aaron hands over the plate, Robert takes a bite out of the first slice and mentally kicks himself when his stomach rumbles loudly. 

“ See? Told ya you were hungry.” Aaron tells him smugly, Robert rolls his eyes a ghost of a smile creeping onto his face.

“ Are you gonna watch me eat?” Robert asks a little uncomfortable. 

“ Yeh. I want to make sure my Husband is eating. “ Aaron gives that as the perfect answer. Aaron has noticed his husband more on the slim sides theses days. 

After Robert has eaten his pizza he goes to lie back down when Aaron stops him. “ We need to change your bandages and put the cream on. “ He tells him softly, he smiles a bit when Robert huffs. “ Wait, wheres my kiss? “ Aaron asks cheekily. They haven’t exactly kissed or hugged in a few weeks and he misses his husband so much. Robert smiles weakly, he leans forward to place a kiss on Aaron’s lips and cheek, before wincing from the contact on his own cheek. 

They get up and move to the bathroom but Robert stops Aaron a second. “ I - no - I don’t want you to see ‘em. “ he tells him scared. 

“ Rob, I already see half of it. I won’t see you any different as I did before. “ 

“ I don’t care. “ Robert tells him stubbornly, he doesn’t want Aaron any near his hideous face. 

“ You need these changed or they will get infected. “ Aaron tells him firmly. Robert sighs and lets Aaron carry on removing the bandage. 

“ Wait. I want to see them. “ Robert stops him again, he needs to see the damage, he needs to put his mind to rest, feeling his skin is entirely different to actually looking at it. 

Aaron looks unsure, remembers what the Doctors told him about not letting Robert see the burns. They told him it could distress Robert even more. 

“ I’m not sure Rob - They - “ 

“ Aaron please. “ Robert begs, Aaron reluctantly nods his head slowly bracing himself for what comes next. 

He stares into the mirror, it’s even worse.

How can I look like this? My handsome features gone, melted away forever. How can I step outride ever again with my skin looking so ragged? I wished that bloke killed me instead of this.

“ ...Robert? “ Aaron asks scared from the deathly silence. 

“ Get out. “ Robert pushes out, his voice quite, like he’s holding a breath. 

“ Please - “ Aaron doesn’t have the time to finish. 

“ GET OUT AARON! “ Robert yells at him before completely breaking down, he slams the door shut with that much force everything rattled. He leans against the sink crying hysterically. 

“ Rob.. “ Aaron calls him name, he sounds just as broken hearing his husbands heartbreaking sobs. Liv runs up the stairs looking terrified of the massive bang. She sees Aaron leaning against the door wiping away tears, she hears Robert crying hysterically. 

“ W-What happened!? “ She asks scared. 

“ Robert wanted to see his face.” Aaron tells her heavily, he sounds so guilty. Liv looks shaken up, it much be bad, she thinks to herself. 

‘ Aaron, my beautiful gorgeous Aaron. How can he even look at me? How can he sleep beside me at night? ‘ the thoughts swimming around in Robert’s head. 

“ Open the door Robert. “ he asks softly, sounding broken. 

“ Please Robert, Open the door.” Liv repeats as well, she sounds so sad and scared. She has never heard Robert cry like this. 

“ No. “ He chokes out. He hates how Liv is here now, she’s going to think of pathetic he is. 

“ Please I need to see ya. “ He pleads.

“ No you don’t. Nobody needs to see me. Look at me! I look horrendous! “ Robert cries more into his hands.

Aaron wipes away few of his tears. “ You don’t look hideous at all Robert. You look even more handsome than before. “

“ How the fuck do I look more handsome Aaron!!!? “ Robert screams out through his sobs, Liv winces from the broken voice. 

He sighs quietly. “ It shows you survived, I still find you so more attractive. “

“ Stop bullshitting me Aaron. “ Robert chokes out, hating how Aaron still finds him remotely handsome. He’s wrong! How can anyone find him remotely handsome? 

“ I’m not! I’m telling you this doesn’t change anything! “

“ And do you want to know what I’m telling you? “ he waits for few seconds, voice small - broken. “ I wished I died! I wished he fucking killed me so I don’t have to suffer in agony and remember that fucking night! “ Robert screams through the door, crying louder he just wants all this to stop.

Aaron’s crying now, hates how Robert wishes he died, hates how he prefers to die than to stay alive. “ don’t you dare say that! - “

“ it’s true. I wished I wasn’t alive.”

Liv gasps as she starts to cry, Aaron’s crying now freely. “Don’t say that Robert! “ Liv chokes out. 

“ M’sorry, but it’s true! “ Robert tells her, his voice raw. 

Aaron shakes his head. “ No, you are wrong, you do not deserve to die! “ 

“ I want all this to stop! “ Robert cries louder. His tears making his burns sting like loads of wasps. He cries partly from the pain as well. Aaron bursts in then, he scoops Robert up and holds him with a death grip. Liv sees the side of Robert’s face and she accidentally gasps, Robert hears it and cries louder. 

“ Even - even L-Liv is scared! “ Robert bursts into a new set of tears, nobody can calm him down, he’s gasping for air. 

“ No, no I don’t rob. “ Liv chokes out, she looks terrified seeing the scene unfold. 

“ Liv it’s okay, go to bed yeh?, “ Aaron tells her gently, he just wants Robert to have some privacy. She nods her head slowly, she turns and goes to her room and break down quietly herself. 

“ Robert? I’m going to move us into the bedroom okay? “ Aaron tells him gently, he quickly fetches the new bandages and cream and guides his husband into the bedroom. Robert collapses into his side, he cries silently into his pillow, he looks emotionally exhausted. Aaron gently cleans Robert’s burns not wanting to cause matters worse, when he’s done putting the new bandages on he slides in next to Robert and hugs him. He holds onto Robert so tight he is unable to move, Aaron gently kisses his husband on the forehead. 

He’s not going anywhere. Not on Aaron’s watch.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. This is all i could muster for today. Soz.

Robert has been back home for 2 weeks now and 2 months with the bandages on his face. He now has the more thinner ones like a soft, thin, white sheet gently covering his cheek. After the incident, 1 and little over a month later. Robert has been having nightmares, reimagining the Acid Attack. He keeps having flashbacks of what happened. The flashbacks are sometimes screams, shouts or his cries or actually feeling and seeing the acid go into his face. Meaning, the only thing to stop those flashbacks and numb the agonising pain is alcohol. He drinks Whisky or straight Vodka straight from the bottle, he has become that desperate and lost his dignity now. The pain medication from the Doctors not even touching the stinging, tingling and the amount of pain in his face. Robert knows Aaron is bone dead worried about him. The little bags under his eyes, and the worry stretched into his face show how stressed he is about his husband. Robert knows he should feel bad, and he is feeling so guilty for causing so much pain and hassle to his family. He has given up hope on everything. He can’t bring strength to even think about anything else. It’s like there is this massive black cloud hanging over him and all he can see is fog. Everything sounds like it’s under water, doesn’t make any sense anymore and he’s letting it happen. That’s what happening now. Robert sat in front of the tv with a bottle of Whiskey in his hand, slumped on the sofa   
looking less alive than ever. 

“ Robert you really need to stop drinking. “ Aaron’s been saying the same thing for weeks now. All he would get off his husband is a shrug and carry on drinking the brown liquid. 

‘ Make it stop! ‘ 

A larger gulp of the Whiskey. 

“ Please just talk to me! “ Aaron pleaded sitting beside Robert watching him look skinner, whiter more dead behind the eyes. 

“ What would you want me to say? “ Robert answered him truthfully. His voice rough and tired. 

“ Anything! Why you always go for the drink after something happens to you! “ 

“ I don’t want to talk about it Aaron! “ Robert nearly shouted. 

“ But you would rather drink yourself into the ground? “ Aaron tearfully asked. 

“ Yeh. I would rather be in the bloody ground than alive with this. “ he points to his burnt face bitterly ignoring the slight gasp out of Aaron how he cries silently. 

“ P-please don’t say that - “ Aaron whimpers. He has been hearing the same thing as well for weeks out of Robert. How he has his low moments and all he does is stay in bed all day or even days. Aaron asked the Doctors what would be wrong with Robert and all they keep saying is this is normal after something for traumatic. They would always say that they actually need to see Robert to give out medications, that Robert needs to go to them. 

“ It’s true and there is no helping me Aaron, you might as well just call me a lost course because I’m just a waste. “ 

Aaron gasps through a soft cry as he clings onto his husband wrapping his arms around Robert. He probs his side of his head on Robert’s chest. 

“ Please just stop saying all this.” He whimpers. “ I just want my old Robert back. “ 

“ The old Robert has gone Aaron. Your just left with the shell of your husband. “ 

Aaron breaks down against his husbands chest clutching the baggy fabric of Robert’s hoodie in his hands. All he wants is for Robert to not speak like this. He hates that attacker for doing this to his husband and snatching his Robert away from him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is sensitive topic and I hope I’ve written things correctly.
> 
> For some reason I thought it started in November the Acid attack? Totally forgot it was actually in February, so, in this story it happened in November after their wedding.


End file.
